When: Sunday, May 25th, Noon Sharp!
Choppercabras
6th annual Spring Thing ride is a bicycle event unparalleled in all of
Los Angeles, perhaps all the globe! Bicycles bashed, blood spilled, hot
dogs eaten, 2 wheeled mayhem unlike anything you’ve ever seen! (unless
you’ve been to one of these before.) And it’s all free! Did I mention
hot dogs?
What you will need:
1. You ready to have fun
2. A bicycle in good working order
3. Outlaw biker/easy rider/evol Kenivel attire a must! Dress up, it’s more fun.
A
note on the time. Do your best to arrive on time or you’ll miss out on
all the fun, we don’t wait for you, as there will be hundreds of people
there on time ready to ride. We start at Noon, not hipster time, but
real time.
How to get here:
By Car:
101
Exit Balboa, head North until you hit Saticoy, make a left go till you
see Louise, park. The event location is ½ block west of Louise in the
south side of Saticoy. Parking in the back will be taken up by event
stuff, best to park on the street.
From 118 as above but south on Balboa, make a right on Saticoy.
From 405 exit Sherman Way go West until you hit Louise, North on Louise as above.
By Bike:
Take
Orange line to Louise, North on Louise until you are at Saticoy, go
west on Saticoy, follow the noise and smells, you’re there!
By Plane:
Look for mess of bikes, parachute into Ralph’s parking lot, and watch out for Coldstone patrons, they may eat you.
Events:
The Ramp of Certain Contusions Jumping Contest:
One
ramp, one bicycle, a metal flake helmet, a cape. You jump, you crash,
we laugh. Get it? Winner gets a trophy, perhaps a band-aid or two.
Double Trouble Figure 8 Race:
15
laps with 8 mini tall bikes in a figure 8 race to the end! Not to be
missed! Theses bikes will be comprised of two 20” bicycle welded on top
of each other. The rider with the best handling skills and the biggest
thighs will carry the day. Winner gets a trophy.
The Biggest Little Battle Royale:
Eight
mini tall bikes will square off in the ring of death as they battle
fore supremacy. Riders will be wielding foam weapons that hurt but
don’t generally break bones. 8 on 8 free-for-all battle royale. The
action will be quick and dirty, the riders are eliminated when they
fall off their bike, the last rider still riding is the victor. Winner
gets a trophy.
The Demolition Derby:
We
save the best for last, the mainstay of all Choppercabras events, the
bicycle Demolition Derby! Twelve bikes with metal rams welded to the
front of them, pit the participants resolve and pain thresholds at this
last man standing event has no rules. The goal is to destroy the other
rider’s bikes, their endurance, their ability to walk, their souls, to
win; you must break them (insert phony Russian accent here). Ram, kick,
and thrash your way to victory. The winner gets a trophy, perhaps some
impressive scars. This event is violent in the extreme, you will get
hurt, watch from a safe distance.
*Special bikes will be provided for all the events. You still need a bicycle for the ride on the ride.
The Ride:
We
will do a few miles at a leisurely pace through the mean streets of the
San Fernando Valley. We ride a few miles, we go slowly, and we try and
keep the ride together. We like to see all riders occupy the right lane
only of the street so we can co-exist with traffic and maximize our
fun. The cause if fun, pick fights with people in cars on your ride,
not ours. This is a cruise, a put, a crawl, not a race just so you
know. When we get done we will be back at Atomic Cycles for the bb-q.
Did I mention free hot dogs?
The BB-Q:
Back
to base for some dogs and conversation, now time to relax. Dogs are
free until they run out. There is a bar in the same parking lot, a
liquor store and grocery across the street just so you know.
The End:
Hang out as much as you like, but the show is over folks! Help cleaning up is always appreciated.
Notes/FYI/etc.
Show
up with a bike ready to ride, any kind of bike is welcome. Do not show
up with a basket case or a bike that needs major repairs, you may not
get them.
I do not loan bicycles for the ride. Bring a bike that is rideable to the ride, save yourself the embarrassment and be ready.
Dress up in costume. It’s ok; you’ll still be “cool” if you dress up.
Show
up on time. Noon. I recommend not partying until 5 am the night before
if you want to make it on time. I’ve heard all the excuses and I don’t
care because it is you who will miss out.
